"Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie" is what happens in today's social network based society that is so absorbed in texting and Facebooking and Tweeting that it accidentally allows this overly long skit become a feature film.


Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim gained their fame off a pod cast called (drum roll) Tim and Eric. It went viral and garnered them exposure on Adult Swim with occasional guests Zach Galifianakis, John C Reilly, Will Ferrell and others. I'm assuming some people find it funny - having never watched it, I couldn't say.


Any temptation to watch it was resolved after watching "Time & Eric's Billion Dollar Movie". Seriously.

The story has Tim and Eric desiring to make a movie, but they have no money. They get the money from a company called Schlaaang Corporation headed by Robert Loggia. However they blow the money on various stupidities including an outrageous movie star lifestyle complete with plastic surgery and body piercings.


Well Tommy Schlaaang (Loggia) is furious and wants blood, which would have been the merciful alternate ending. Instead, Tim and Eric figure a way to raise the money to pay him back.


They decide to buy an dilapidated mall in S'Wallow Valley, turn it around and flip it. Actually theu get conned into getting it from Damien Weebs (Will Ferrell) in one of th films one or two moments that draw a laugh. Or maybe those were sneezes.


There are several problems with the mall including a wolf that wanders around and a guy name Taquito (John C. Reilly) who lives there after being left there by his parents - uh his dad is Weebs - who was raised by the wolf... I think.

There are several failing shops including one that offers spiritual healing by dousing people in diarrhea and [of course] a used toilet paper shop.


For one and a half painful hours, the film throws every kind of repulsive gag at the audience hoping to garner laughs. The efforts seem to be how crude a film can be rather than any type of comprehensible story.


Apparently, they decided that they could take their three minute skits from the pod casts and adult swim and stretch it out to a feature length movie. It take "Dumb and Dumber" to a new level.


Wait, I might have actually insulted "Dumb and Dumber"!


It brings me to my usual lament as to whom do you have to sleep with to get money to make a bad movie? It amazes me that people like Jeff Goldblum, Ray Wise and Logia would even consider being part of this!


"Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie" isn't even worth sneaking into a theater to watch for free. I assume there is an audience for this stuff; but frankly if there is this world is in worse shape than the Mayans could have ever imagined!   -- GEOFF BURTON