MARCH 7, 2018 -- Just to be clear, one should NEVER expect much from any movie that begins with "Attack Of...". Keep your expectations low and you might enjoy it! Remember "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes," "Attack of the Fifty Foot Woman," "Attack of the Killer Donuts,""Attack of the Jurassic Shark" and the biggest budgeted film of the ilk..."Star Wars" Attack of the Clones."


Now comes Mark Newton's zombie film - which not only contains "Attack of..." but also "Southern Fried" - you can only imagine how little was spent in time and money to develop this film. It stars an ensemble of talent whose careers are already toast and therefore have nothing to lose.


The film does contain a couple of elements that make it worth looking at during a stoner party or just for giggles and shits. One is that it targets a real environment problem found mostly in the South that has been a headache for decades - kudzu vines. For those who don't know, kudzu is an invasive vine that has obliterated many areas and costs millions of dollars to somewhat control. The other element is the commercial use of an unproven chemical that causes more problems than solves by seeping into the general food chain.

These two elements give the story a little footing in reality. Most zombie disaster flicks offer no explanation as to what caused the zombie apocalypse or generate a highly improbably cause. This film also pokes fun at the slow reaction time of a large group of people who initially just stand around and become victims.


Lonnie (Timothy Haug) is a crop duster who has sprayed an untested chemical called Quadoxin all over an area that is infested with kudzu. Unfortunately, what he doesn't know is that the goats in the area have been eating the kudzu like crazy and the goats are the secret meat used by a local diner.


Those who ate the meat turn into flesh eating zombies and naturally any bite from those zombies turn other people into zombies, in a fairly short period of time. There are side stories including the mayor who never stops campaigning even during the crisis, a love triangle that never really takes off, and a grudge between two meat vendors.


In between are all types of doofus gags about small town southerners you can possibly imagine. It may remind you of the horror comedy "Tucker and Dale vs Evil" (2010) with some of the stupid stunts and awful acting that have a way of yanking a laugh or two out of you.


Naturally, you can't possibly imagine that the special effects would be any good, or even well timed as heads explode before they are even shot and bodies are recycled into new zombies.


"Attack of the Southern Fried Zombies" is one of those "B" movies that is so bad it's entertaining. You won't remember any of the actors and for them, that is a good thing.   -- GRADE C- --   GEOFF BURTON